Holy Fundraisers !
by Ann3
Summary: A would be thief chooses the wrong day to visit Community General... please R&R, and special thanks to Sharon...!!


HOLY FUNDRAISERS !!

Written by Ann Rivers ann.rivers@virgin.net

Summary: When a thief strikes at Mark's fundraiser, it's chaos…! It's calamity…! It's catastrophe…!

It's time to call in Community General's very own dynamic duo…

Spoilers: Reference made to Murder On The Run, Down Among The Dead Men, Dead In The Water, Rescue Me, Bringing Up Barbie, Sleight Of Hand, Frontier Dad and Bachelor Fathers

Disclaimer: DM and its characters belong to CBS and Viacom. 

No profit is being made from their use here… I'm just borrowing them for a little bit of silliness…

This story came as a challenge from my good friend Sharon, to somehow get Steve and Jesse 

dressed up in tights and capes… so thank you, Sharon, I had an absolute riot writing this…!

"No way, dad…! Assertively, positively, decisively, and every other kind of –ively, no way…! 

And you can forget that whipped puppy look, dad, because it's not going to work… not this time… besides, I've seen Jess try that stunt on me too often to let you get it past me… so forget it…

I'm _not_ going to be your magician's assistant at next week's fundraiser, and that's _final_…!"

His assertion complete, Steve Sloan folded his arms across his chest and turned to face his father – noting in some dismay that his benignly smiling father was still… well, benignly smiling.

In a strange twist of irony, that gentle grin never failed to give him a severe case of heebie-jeebies.

The last time he'd made a stand like this, he'd ended up swinging from a rickety chandelier… 

Needless to say, Steve had silently prayed that his brief foray into the world of Frontier Dad 

had gone untold to his colleagues at the precinct. 

Needless to say, and to his continued chagrin, two certain doctors had gleefully ensured that it had. 

As if that hadn't been embarrassing enough, they'd also released the evidence of him 'going bye-bye'.

Even now, over two years later, it still topped the 'must see' list at the precinct's Christmas party.

Wincing at the memory, Steve looked almost pleadingly towards his still gently smiling tormentor – guessing by that smile's mischief that his father's thoughts were following the same frontier-ish path.

"Besides, with the caseload I have at work, I just don't have time to disappear right now…" he went on, wryly thinking that, if truth be told, disappearing for a while might not be such a bad idea.

At least then he'd be out of contention for spending an afternoon squashed inside some musty old box. 

A sly grin then grew across his face as a far more suitable candidate for said musty old box came to mind.

"Why don't you ask Jess to do it…?" he suggested, the grin widening to a wicked, big brotherly smirk. "Let's face it, he'd fit in that box a lot easier than I would… in fact, he wouldn't even need to crouch…"

Laughing too much to chastise his son, Mark settled for a reproachful finger-wag instead.

"Now Steve, it's hardly fair to tease him when he's not even here to defend himself…" he chuckled, laughing still more when this drew more mutterings of discontent.

"Oh, don't remind me…! Our busiest week of the year, and is my business partner here to lend a hand…?

Oh no, _he's_ gallivanting around Carmel, no doubt eating everything in sight that isn't nailed down, 

while _I_ barely have time to manage a sandwich…!"

Mark just smiled, not at all fooled by his son's good-natured griping towards their absent friend.

He'd privately feared that Jesse's new role as husband and father, the many changes that new role brought, might have affected the very special bond that he and Steve had always shared.

But those fears that Steve may have felt left out have proved to be thankfully groundless. 

If anything, his boys had grown even closer, even more like brothers than they'd been before.

And for Steve, always so protective towards his family – though especially his adoptive kid brother – 

there was now the extra fun of keeping his equally mischievous godson in line too.

Before he could reply, however, Leo's current, slightly agitated babysitter came striding towards them, gently thrusting the wriggling toddler and his baby-bag into his startled godfather's arms. 

"Okay, he's all yours…" Amanda panted, catching her breath while adjusting the bag round Steve's neck. "Now, he's had his lunchtime feed, and I changed him before I came out, so he should be okay for that... 

and much as I'm sure he'd be fascinated by it all, I really don't think he's ready for his first autopsy yet… so like I said, he's all yours… I'll come and pick him up from you around seven, okay…? Okay, bye…!"

Blowing a quick, godmotherly raspberry on top of Leo's head, Amanda then hurried towards her lab – leaving in her wake one Sloan greatly amused by the shellshocked expression on the face of the other.

"Well, I guess that takes care of that…" Mark chuckled, frowning slightly as he glanced at Leo.

"Although I rather think something else needs taking care of too…"

Cautiously sniffing as appropriate, Steve's wincing face turned almost the same deep green as his shirt.

Mark was wincing too, shaking his head as Steve held Leo out at full arm-stretch towards him.

"Oh no, you don't, my friend… I had a lifetime's worth of changing diapers with you and Carol…"

Unmoved by his son's pleading expression, Mark then grinned that familiar grin of pure mischief.

"No, son, this is _your_ privilege as Leo's godfather… and being the kind and selfless father that I am,

I'd just _hate_ to deny you that privilege…"

Resigned now to his Fate, and suddenly losing his appetite for his own lunch, Steve rolled his eyes – adding more muttered threats of revenge as he strode briskly towards the nearest washroom.

"Well, Jess, I really hope that you're enjoying your honeymoon… because when you get back from it, 

I am going to quite cheerfully throttle you…!"

Thoroughly enjoying himself, Mark couldn't resist adding some final chuckled words of advice.

"Oh, and Steve…? Don't forget, lay him on his tummy instead of his back so that he doesn't…"

"Ruin another shirt… yeah, thanks for the tip, dad…" Steve shot back over his free shoulder, 

throwing another peeved afterthought towards his father as he wrestled his way into the washroom.

"Yeah, like you couldn't have told me that three days ago…!"

Mark was still laughing when another familiar, amused voice addressed him a few moments later.

"You know, Doctor Sloan, they say laughing at yourself is one of the first signs of insanity…

although of course, in your case, it'd be hard to tell…"

Recovering himself, Mark then turned to answer this friendly insult in the same affectionate humour.

"So I've been told…" he chuckled, extending a hand towards the striking young woman before him.

"All signs of insanity aside, though… it's good to see you, Tanis…"

"Same here…" Tanis Archer smiled warmly back at him while glancing expectantly around her.

"So where's Batman and Robin…?"

"Batman and…?" Mark stared at her, totally confused, before the dropping penny prompted more laughter.

"Oh yes, I see… well, the caped crusader is currently tackling the ghastly horrors of his godson's diaper,

and the boy wonder is away enjoying his honeymoon…"

Now it was Tanis' turn to stare as that final word stuck in her mind and stubbornly refused to budge.

"His _honeymoon_…? Jeez, what the hell has Travis been putting in that BBQ sauce…?" she asked at last, her suspicions over that sauce's ingredients only increasing as Mark just roared with laughter.

"I'd like to know the answer to that one myself…" he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders as he went on,

"Still, whatever's in there, at least he made sure we had plenty of it made up before he and Susan left…

at this rate, we'll be giving the stuff away just to clear it before it expires…"

"Maybe it already has…" Tanis observed dryly, wrinkling her nose at Leo's still lingering legacy.

Still trying to digest two equally astonishing bombshells, she then glanced back at a still laughing Mark.

"So let me get this straight… Steve is changing his godson's diaper, and Travis is on his _honeymoon_…?"

Even when Mark smiled and nodded in reply to both, she still couldn't believe what she'd heard.

"You're saying that Travis got _married_…? _Our_ Travis…?"

Mark couldn't help but laugh as he nodded once more, clearly enjoying Tanis' reaction.

No matter how much other things had changed in the past year, it seemed one thing never altered – 

Jesse's uncanny knack of being seen as everyone's little brother. 

He'd matured a great deal since his marriage – as a new husband and father, that had been inevitable.

But there was still this compulsion within his adoptive family to protect him and look out for him.

And, it seemed, that ability to win the hearts of even his sternest critics was still as strong as ever.

Not even Tanis Archer was immune to it… now, if she could just get used to calling him Jesse… 

"Yes, our Jesse got married…" he said at last, casually nudging her in the right naming direction.

"And it took some pretty drastic events to get them there, but… well, he and Susan finally made it…

and I'd have to say, Tanis, I've never seen Jess so happy and settled in his life than he is now…

marrying Susan, and being a father to little Leo… well, it's really been the making of him…"

Nodding her acknowledgement, Tanis was further surprised to feel a sudden twinge of envy.

He was much too young for her, of course, but she'd quietly considered Jesse Travis to be quite a catch.

Funny, smart and resourceful – not to mention a real gentleman when it came to sharing his lunch.

And, it had to be said, he could also dance a pretty mean jitterbug…

So to now learn that someone else had landed him instead… _and_ made him a father already, to boot… 

well, it was a lot to take in, to say the least… especially if this Susan was who she thought it was…

"Susan…?" she said at last, frowning as memories of a nurse of cover girl beauty surfaced from her mind.

Perhaps it was that twinge of envy niggling away at her, but Tanis couldn't help but voice her surprise.

"Susan Hilliard…? But… I – I mean, the last I heard, she'd dumped him and moved to Oregon…!"

Realising what she'd said, and who she'd said it to, Tanis then winced and started to fumble an apology – clearly relieved when a gentle, patient smile assured her that she didn't need to.

"Yes, I must admit we were pretty shocked when she came back too… especially Jesse…" Mark admitted, 

his smile fading slightly as he recalled the harrowing events that had preceded Susan's return.

"But they'd both been through one hell of a rough time… their lives had been turned upside down, and… well, to be honest with you, Tanis, both of them just really needed each other afterwards…"

Still rather awkward from her earlier faux pas, Tanis simply nodded and kept her opinions to herself. 

That restraint came under serious threat, though, as Steve, liberally sprinkled in oil and powder,

emerged from the washroom, too engrossed in fussing over Leo to notice her.

By the time he did… well, the damage was done… both Mark and Tanis were howling with laughter.

"Oh, Steve, if the guys at the precinct could see you now…!" Tanis finally managed between chuckles,

taking full advantage of his mortified silence to acquaint herself with a now contentedly bottling Leo.

"So you're the latest little Travis…? Small, cute, permanently hungry, and a real bundle of mischief… 

yes, I can definitely see the resemblance…"

Seeing the exchange of knowingly amused glances, Tanis looked up from gently tickling Leo's toes – uneasily wondering if she'd not just put her own neatly shoed foot back in her mouth again.

This time it was Steve who reassured her with a brotherly proud smile as he gently jiggled his godson.

"Well, you're right about those last two comparisons, Tanis, but… well, in fact Jess isn't the father… 

he kinda stepped in when this little fella's real father threw Susan out after she became pregnant…"

"Jeez, what a sweetie…" Tanis murmured, pulling a face while she returned to gently playing with Leo. 

"So he took her back, fell back in love with her, and adopted this little guy at the same time…?"

As Mark and Steve smiled and nodded, Tanis felt her earlier envy give way to her own knowing pride.

"Yeah, that sounds like Travis…"

"Yes, that's our Jesse…" Mark agreed, resigned to the fact that, to Tanis at least, he'd always be Travis.

To everyone else, though, he was still Community General's favourite newlywed.

A newlywed who, to Mark's surprise, had returned from his honeymoon a clear three days early, 

and who now was making his way through a growing cluster of greeting, back-patting colleagues.

Trading glances with an equally puzzled Steve, both then glanced back towards their young friend – 

each feeling their concern ease a little when Jesse waved a reassuringly cheery greeting towards them.

Even so, Mark couldn't help but ask the obvious, still anxious question as Jesse came up to them.

"Jess…? Is everything alright…? I – I mean, we weren't expecting you back until Friday…" 

"Yeah, I know, Mark…" Jesse replied, looking decidedly rueful as he shrugged his shoulders.

"No, the honeymoon's been great, but… well, let's just say the curse of Carmel struck again…"

"Don't tell me you and Susan fell foul of another pirating, on the take sheriff…?" Mark asked dryly,

trading another, much more relieved glance with his son while Jesse pulled a face back at them.

"Well, no… when we saw the sign for Sea Ridge, I stepped on the gas and kept on going…" Jesse replied, hoping that three eagle eyed detectives would miss the telltale redness that now crept up his cheeks. 

Guessing from three amused glances that such hope was in vain, he sighed and reluctantly came clean.

"I – I guess I stepped on the gas a little _too_ hard, 'cos… well, the engine seized up a couple of miles later…

by the time I'd pushed the car into the next town, it was too late to find a garage to do any repairs…

and being the height of the tourist season, all the local motels were booked out so we couldn't get a room…

then when we finally _did_ manage to find a place with vacancies, its owner made Basil Fawlty look sane…

which I guess would explain why he had so many vacancies… so anyway, what with that and the car,

and the fact that his other guests had come down with food poisoning and were threatening to sue him…

well, we figured we'd be as well to come home, where at least we'd get some sympathy and…"

Sulkily ignoring the threeway laughter that he was receiving instead, Jesse then sighed once more – 

the smile magically reappearing as he took an excitedly wriggling Leo from a quietly grateful Steve.

"And how's my wonderful little man…? Hey, at least you're glad to see me, aren't you…?

I bet you missed me, didn't you…? Yeah, 'cos you're always happy to see your daddy, aren't ya…?"

"Aw gee, Jesse, I missed you too…" Steve retorted, stepping forward for a brotherly mawkish hug – 

feigning great disappointment as Jesse pulled a face at him and turned back to fussing over Leo.

"Apparently Leo didn't…" Jesse smirked, studying the various stains that covered Steve's shirt.

Gleefully ignoring his friend's baleful glare, Jesse then gave the giggling toddler an approving cuddle.

"Great aiming, kid…"

Sensing that brotherly revenge was imminent, Mark stepped in with a timely distracting question.

"And how's Susan…? I take it she's at home taking it easy…?"

"Oh yeah, she's just fine…" Jesse nodded, grinning wickedly as he glanced back at Steve.

"In fact, I'm sure if you asked her nicely she'd toss you in with the next load of laundry…"

Neatly sidestepping the inevitable headswipe, Jesse then turned to greet a helplessly laughing Tanis.

"Hey, Tanis, it's great to see you…! What brings you back to LA…?"

"Well, officially I've been re-assigned… unofficially… well, I missed the free lunches…" Tanis replied,

casting Mark a 'how do you put up with them…?' smile as the brotherly double act continued. 

"Hey, if you know how to change diapers, Tanis, you can have free lunches for life…" Steve offered,

ruefully brushing some excess powder from his sleeve.

"Aww, Steve, don't be so hard on yourself…" Jesse told him, a study of loyal, little brother support.

Placing Leo strategically between himself and Steve, he then deadpanned the inevitable punchline.

"No, you just need practice, that's all… lots of practice… lots and lots of practice… lots and lots and…"

"What I need, Jess, is a new shirt…" Steve broke in, making a show of flexing and cracking his knuckles.

"And with so much junk on it already, it won't matter if I get a few spots of blood on this one…"

Feigning alarm, Jesse's grin then widened as he gently held Leo up to shield his face.

"Hey, guy holding a baby… and you'd never dream of whacking a guy holding a baby, would you…?" 

As Steve remained ominously quiet, Jesse peered around at him and added a slightly nervous afterthought.

"Y – You wouldn't… would you…?"

Watching this familiar bickering match between Community General's very own dynamic duo,

Mark Sloan felt an equally familiar, mischievously sly grin spreading across his face.

Steve would vehemently protest, of course, but he _would_ eventually talk his son into that magician's box. 

For, as he knew so well to his advantage, wherever Batman went, whatever dastardly perils he faced,

you could be sure that his ever faithful Robin would be sure to follow…

Assuming they didn't kill each other first, of course…

"Of course he wouldn't, Jess…" he chuckled, enjoying the 'spoilsport' glower this drew from Steve.

Before his son could argue the point, however, Leo stepped in with a little contribution of his own – effectively wiping the smirk from Jesse's face as he stared down at a now distinctly icky shirt.

"Great aiming, kid…" Steve grinned, neatly turning Jesse's earlier jibe back on his friend.

Thoroughly enjoying the rueful disgust on Jesse's face, he then gave his shoulder a consolatory pat.

"Never mind, Jess… I'm sure that Susan's had plenty of practice tossing you into the laundry basket…"

"Yes, I daresay she has…" Mark chuckled, turning a tactful blind eye to Jesse's tellingly beet red face.

Placing a fatherly hand on each of their shoulders, he then gave each a gentle shove towards the elevator.

"Now, to save the poor girl the trouble, I suggest you get yourselves cleaned up for lunch here instead…

Steve, there's a fresh shirt in my office closet, so you're welcome to borrow that if you want…"

A typically generous offer – but one that Steve was oddly reluctant to take up.

"Thanks, dad, but if it's that tasteful little yellow number I saw earlier, I think I'll pass…" he retorted, pointedly ignoring the inevitable comeback from Jesse.

"Oh, there speaks the king of the pineapple print…!"

"As opposed to your equally elegant print de baby food…?" Steve shot back, eyeing the still icky evidence.

"Yeah, at least mine came from love… yours just came from a really bad hangover…" Jesse pointed out, determined as always to have the last word.

They were still at it when, having said their goodbyes, Jesse and Steve moved away towards the elevator – leaving Tanis and Mark to watch them go, each wryly shaking their heads.

"Well, all marriages and other bombshells aside, I see some things never change…" Tanis said at last, 

not at all surprised to see the same fondly proud smile widen across Mark's face as she added dryly,

"Although as I recall, the original Batman and Robin were never this bickery…"

"Yes, you name it, those two will find reason to argue over it…" he chuckled, fondly shaking his head – laughing still more at the mischievous seed that had taken root in an equally playful mind.

Oh yes, this idea of seeing his boys running around in tights and capes was just too priceless to pass up.

And of course, it seemed only fair to thank the person who, albeit unknowingly, had suggested it to him.

"Well now, Tanis…" he said at last, slipping an avuncular arm around the startled detective's shoulders.

"While our dynamic duo get themselves laundered, allow me to buy you a big plate of LA's finest ribs…"

Recovering herself, Tanis then nodded in what, she hoped, was not too eager agreement.

A plate of ribs from BBQ Bob's was always worth having – even more so if someone else was buying.

She'd already guessed that there was a typically sly plan behind it. A mischievous one too, no doubt.

And if that plan was directed against two certain people… well, needless to say, she was all for it…

By the time Steve rejoined them at the restaurant, those mischievous plans were already mapped out – leading to a trade of conspiratory grins as their unsuspecting victim took his seat at their table.

A few minutes later Jesse arrived, joined now by a radiant Susan and a contentedly napping Leo – 

the telling roundness of Susan's waistline prompting another quizzical glance from Tanis to Mark.

"Oh, this one is _definitely_ Jesse's…!" Mark chuckled, just pipping his equally amused son to the post. 

Never one to make the same mistake twice, Tanis simply nodded before glancing back towards Susan.

It didn't take much in the way of detective skills to see just how much in love she and Jesse were – 

or how deeply that love was reciprocated between one family and the other. 

And seeing the warmth with which Mark and Steve greeted her, Tanis couldn't help but feel awkward, 

as though she were intruding on a private family gathering.

That awkwardness soon eased, however, as Steve smiled at her while introducing her to Susan.

A few minutes later, it had gone completely as everyone dived eagerly into a huge platter of ribs – 

Steve's obvious pleasure at her company not lost on his ever watchful, gently smiling father.

They'd made a wonderful team – the rapport between them not just confined to working together.

Before that rapport could develop any further, however, Tanis has been re-assigned to San Diego.

And while they'd all been sorry to see her go, it was inevitable that Steve had missed her most of all.

Now, watching them share a joke with Susan and Jesse, Mark felt his smile approvingly widen.

Of course, he'd never interfere in his family's personal lives, other than to try and advise them, but… 

well, having seen one of his kids settled down so happily, he could only wish the same for the others.

Until now, Steve had sadly lived up to his rather unfortunate title of LA's unluckiest bachelor.

With Tanis' return, that luck, it seemed to his still smiling father, might just be about to change…

All matchmaking plans aside, though, plotting of another kind still came first in Mark's agenda.

With only four days to go until his fundraiser, he still had to find those two oddly reluctant assistants. 

Steve had already made his thoughts on the matter very firmly, if rather fruitlessly, clear.

So instead Mark now directed those infamous powers of persuasion onto the more swayable Jesse.

After all, if he could be persuaded to jump off a moving train, surely he'd agree to this…?

Besides, Mark thought fondly, if ever there was someone who loved to dress up, it was Jesse.

The only way they'd gotten him off the Frontier Dad set was by letting him keep his cowboy outfit.

And although he'd protested his innocence of how it had got there, Steve's already sartorial wardrobe 

of clothes now included two pairs of cowboy boots, a couple of waistcoats and, of course, a Stetson – this brotherly ritual of 'anything you can do, I can do too…' giving Mark's plans a sublime advantage.

If Jesse agreed to help out at his fundraiser, Steve would feel more or less obliged to say yes too…

Come the next morning, hidden behind a carefully neutral expression, those plans came into play.

Standing at the nurses' station, Mark waited until Jesse passed by then sighed deeply, shaking his head.

As expected, and hoped, his young protégé stopped in his tracks and looked quizzically back at him.

"Hey, Mark, is everything okay…?"

Bait safely taken, Mark then allowed himself a trace of a smile while expertly reeling in his catch.

"Well, to be honest, Jess, organising this fundraiser's proving a real headache…" he said at last,

bringing just the right amount of frustrated dejection into his voice as he shook his head once more.

"I mean, the kids are counting on me to find them some entertainment at their party afterwards, but…

well, astonishingly in a city full of wannabe actors, I just can't seem to find anyone suitable…"

Perhaps sensing what was coming, Jesse just nodded while wrestling with a suddenly wary conscience.

After Steve's horror stories of that notorious box, he was naturally reluctant to encounter it himself.

Finally though, the puppy dog loyalty to Mark that was his and his alone, and his insatiable curiosity,

tipped the balance in his mentor's favour.

"What _kind_ of entertainment…?" he asked at last, quickly laying down some protective ground rules.

"If it involves boxes and saws, though, forget it… I – I mean, jeez, there's little enough of me as it is, without you slicing off any more inches…!"

Laughing now at that plaintive expression, Mark held up his hands in a gesture of appeasing surrender.

Okay, so there wouldn't be any magic this year, but… oh, the alternative would be more than worth it…

"Don't worry, Jess, there won't be a saw in sight…" he chuckled, fondly patting Jesse's shoulder – keeping his hand there, keeping his catch gently reeled in while Jesse filed the rest of his casenotes.

"No, Jess, I thought I'd try a different angle this year… one that I'm sure Steve would enjoy too…"

Pausing for a moment, Mark then treated his young friend to his most persuasive, train-jumping smile.

"Jesse, how would you like to be act out one of your childhood heroes…?"

A delighted smile lit up Jesse's face – promptly followed by a look of shocked, wide eyed horror.

"Whoa, _waaaiiit_ a minute…! Y – You want me to dress up as Wonder Woman…?!?!" he asked at last – blushing to the roots of his hair as a group of nearby nurses turned to stare at him in quizzical disbelief.

Somehow containing his laughter at the surreal images that now flooded his mind, Mark shook his head.

"Well, no, Jess… but you're on the right track…" he chuckled, silently mourning what might have been.

Seeing the curiosity that remained bright in Jesse's still wary eyes, he then shrugged his shoulders – reeling his suddenly restless catch back in with some genuinely felt, truly proud words of conviction.

"No, Jess, actually I was thinking more along the lines of… well, someone that really rather suits you…

after all, in many ways, you already are Community General's very own boy wonder…"

While used to such praise from his mentor over the years, Jesse's reaction to it never seemed to change. 

Shyly smiling his thanks, he then shrugged while carrying out an in depth study of the state of his shoes.

Once he'd stopped blushing, he raised his head again, a gleam of delighted mischief bright in his eyes.

"Hey, you're talking about Robin, right…? As in Batman and Robin…? All that kapow, and stuff…?" Not trusting himself to speak (if he did, he might never stop laughing) Mark just smiled and nodded – not at all surprised when Jesse warmed to this new incentive with a promisingly infectious enthusiasm.

"Hey, that'd be neat…! I really loved that show when I was kid, and… hey, Steve could be Batman…!

I – I mean, with him being a cop already, he'd be just perfect for all that kapowie stuff, and…"

Suddenly realising that Mark, while now helpless with laughter, oddly wasn't sharing his enthusiasm, Jesse stopped in mid sentence, the disappointment clear on his face as realisation dawned.

"Awww, jeez ! Don't tell me he doesn't want to do it…!"

"Well, to be honest, Jess, I've not even mentioned it to him yet…" Mark admitted with a rueful smile.

"Ever since I mentioned this fundraiser, my son has been… well, oddly tricky to track down…"

"Oh, is that right…?" Jesse asked at last, a study of superhero determination as he rolled up his sleeves. 

"Well, we'll soon see about that…!"

Watching him go, Mark could finally release several minutes' worth of gratefully relieved laughter.

At the same time, though, he couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for what Steve was about to face.

He knew there was no way in which his little protégé could wrestle Steve into submission, but…

well, if anyone could _talk_ his long suffering big brother into wearing tights and a cape, it was Jesse… 

Of course, the problem with plans, especially the best laid ones, was that they tended to go wrong – 

as Mark found to his cost the following evening, as he studied the costume laid out on his bed.

When it came to sweet talk and charm, no one could match the wheedling skills of Dr Jesse Travis.

So when he'd suggested that they _all_ dress up, just so that Steve wouldn't feel quite so self conscious… well, it had been close to impossible to say no.

Besides, to try, as Mark knew from rueful past experience, was rather like telling the tide to turn around.

He had to admit, though, that he was actually quite looking forward to his role as the notorious Joker – 

as the equally notorious Catwoman was all too willing to say when, suitably attired in character, 

he returned to the den where Amanda and Susan were trying out their costumes for Tanis' approval.

"Oh, Mark…! That look is just _so_ you…!" Amanda purred, seductively linking her arm through his.

"Why, thank you, my villainous feline friend…!" Mark chuckled, glancing expectantly around him.

"So where's our fearless Boy Wonder…?"

He'd already guessed from their laughter that the answer involved Jesse and some form of mischief.

After all, trouble and mischief seemed to follow that boy around like bees to a honey pot.

But not even he could have anticipated the reply that finally came through Amanda's fits of giggles.

"Trying to coax his… um… _fearless_ partner to come out of his bedroom…" 

Maybe it was their costumes, but the sheer ridiculous temptation of it all was just too much to resist. Already laughing in anticipation, all four then made a bee-line for the stairs…

The scene that met their eyes outside Steve's bedroom was… well, rather bizarre, to say the least…

Jesse, so fetching in his costume that Susan almost collapsed with laughter, stood at the doorway –tugging at the handle while plaintively bargaining with his stubbornly room-bound friend.

"Awww, come on, Steve…! Look, I said I was sorry, and… hey, I _really_ mean it this time, okay…?

I _won't_ laugh at you again, scout's honour, and… awww, come on, we're both in the same boat here…! I'm having to wear them too, remember…? And – And that whole tights really suits you thing…?

Hey, I was just trying to help you feel better about 'em, that's all…! Now come on, let me in…!"

After several more minutes pleading – not entirely helped by the continuing hysterics from the others – the door to Steve's bedroom finally clicked and inched resignedly open. 

By this time, Mark, Tanis, Amanda and Susan had almost laughed themselves into a heap on the floor – 

their attempts to regain control pretty much wasted as Steve, his blushes barely hidden behind his mask, 

realised that the woman he'd come to care very much about indeed was standing there in his hallway.

And there he was, to greet her in purple tights, a leotard and a maddeningly clingy pair of black boxers…

Groaning aloud, Steve then threw a murderous glare towards a suspiciously mouth-twitching Jesse.

Wisely bringing that twitching mouth into a straight line, Jesse then pointed towards the others who, needless to say, were thoroughly enjoying the entertainment.

"Awww, jeez, Steve, come on…! Hey, _I'm_ not laughing at ya, and… hey, put me _down_…!" he yelped,

glancing uneasily down to where the gap between his feet and the floor was growing steadily larger.

Suddenly, and for once eye to eye with the six foot two inch Steve, he gulped nervously for a moment, before treating his friend to his very best, much practised, digging-self-out-of-big-hole smile.

"Holy steroids, Batman…!! I'm growing…! I'm finally _growing_…!"

Try as he might to maintain it, Steve could feel his exasperation start to crumble into helpless laughter – 

as it always tended to do whenever Jesse pulled that bright eyed, cute kid brother trick on him.

Of course, the continuing giggles and chuckles from Mark and the others didn't exactly help either.

"In your dreams, Jess…" he chuckled at last, gently setting the openly relieved Jesse back on his feet. 

Knowing better than to push his luck (he wasn't _that_ dumb), Jesse simply pulled a face back at him – finding more than enough consolation in a hug from Susan and a happily admiring study of her outfit.

With order more or less restored, everyone then settled to laughingly compare each other's costumes.

Despite his misgivings, even Steve found himself enjoying this chance to let off some creative steam.

And perhaps he was imagining it, but Tanis _really_ seemed to appreciate those tights…

All joking aside, Mark watched this familiar teasing banter with a proud if slightly worried smile.

If this was merely the dress rehearsal, he shuddered to think what chaos the day itself would bring…

To his relieved surprise, the morning of his fundraiser dawned with a promisingly normal calm – 

or at least as calm as mornings could be with Jesse, Steve and three equally mischievous kids around.

Except this time, at the telling invitation of his son, Tanis came to join them for breakfast as well – 

the sight of her trading jokes and insults with that son prompting another fatherly speculative smile.

Noticing this, Amanda was smiling too as she helped him organise a fresh trayful of drinks.

"How long do you suppose it will be before those two wake up and smell this coffee…?" she asked, nodding to where Tanis and Steve now sat alone on the sun-deck, deep in conversation.

"Honey, your guess is as good as mine…" Mark chuckled, winking at her while still watching his son.

"One thing's for sure, though… it's going to be fun waiting to find out…!"

A few hours later, fun of a different kind descended on the children's wards of Community General.

And while rather self conscious at first, Steve soon entered into the spirit of playing superhero – 

which really didn't bode too well for a gate-crashing visitor to the hospital pharmacy.

Startled by the sudden blare of security alarms, Steve ran instinctively out into the main corridor – 

Jesse and Tanis hot on his heels, with Mark, Amanda and Susan following as best they could behind.

At first, the cause for that blaring alarm wasn't too clear – the corridor outside was perfectly empty.

But then the elevator at the far end opened and a black clad figure ran out, staring round in blind panic.

That panic, joined now by a fair dose of disbelief, only increased as he caught sight of the impossible.

Somewhere between the pharmacy and the children's wards, the security guards had changed into – Batman… and, needless to say, Robin and Batgirl as well… and the Joker… and Catwoman…

"Oh man, what the hell was in that pills…?" he groaned, making a shaky bolt in the other direction – guessing from the yells and shouts from behind him that Batman and Robin were close on his heels.

Curious patients were then treated to one of the most surreal sights in Community General's history – 

a black clad, slightly terrified figure being chased through its corridors by two cartoon superheroes, causing several of them to cast suspicious glances towards their accompanying IV's.

One of the braver ones then turned to ask a hopeful question of his equally dumbfounded nurse.

"Hey, Marcie…? Before I'm discharged tomorrow, can you get me some of these things to go…?"

By the time they'd chased their quarry around the floor, various hurdles making it tricky to close the gap, 

Steve felt in need of some of those meds himself. 

"Hey, Jess, your… legs are… younger… than… mine…" he panted between attempts to catch his breath.

"Get to… Amanda's… lab… I'll… head… him… up… to… you, and… we'll nab… him… there…"

To the relief of his legs and lungs, Jesse was already waving his understanding and heading for the stairs, leaving Steve with the unenviable task of shepherding their quarry towards pathology.

Fortunately by now, Mark's call had reached hospital security – although they had difficulty believing it.

"Intruder in paediatrics being chased by… uh… Lieutenant Sloan as Batman and Dr Travis as Robin…

urgent assistance required… I repeat, security on all floors, urgent assistance required…"

Trading glances, the guards on duty then sighed, shrugged and dutifully set out to join in the chase.

Sloan and Travis, dressed up as Batman and Robin… yeah, that explained everything… 

With security guards and superheroes now closing in on him, their quarry was becoming panicky – 

too panicky to realise that he was being subtly guided into an expertly laid trap.

At least, that was the theory. Putting that theory into practice, though, was a whole different matter…

As they approached pathology, Steve found to his astonishment that he was finally making up ground – possibly because his quarry was running out of both steam and things to throw in his path.

While rather leaden-legged himself now, Steve wasn't about to let that deny him his moment of glory.

Gathering his strength for one last effort, he closed that gap a little more, waiting for the right moment, before launching himself into what was normally an impeccably timed linebacker's tackle.

At the same time, alerted by the sound of Steve's approaching yells, Jesse emerged from Amanda's lab – catching the briefest of glimpses of an equally wide eyed quarry before that quarry ploughed into him, 

the additional momentum of Steve's flying tackle sending all three crashing to the ground.

Following on as best they could, Mark and the others didn't even have to ask where the chase had ended.

A loud series of shouts, yells and crashes from outside Amanda's lab pretty much settled that query.

On reaching the scene, all four then stopped and stared at a furiously wriggling jumble of arms and legs, before Mark instinctively rushed forward to gently disentangle his son from the top of the pile.

"Steve…? Steve…! Jesse, are you alright…?" 

Too breathless and winded to reply, Steve just nodded while gingerly rubbing the back of his neck – 

his own discomfort rapidly forgotten, though, as a low groan came from beneath him.

Carefully rolling sideways, he then knelt over to help a rather dazed and dishevelled Jesse sit upright.

"Jesse…? Whoa, easy now, are you alright…? Jesse…? _Jess_…?"

"Oh yeah, sure…" Jesse muttered, not entirely convincingly as he gave his head a gently clearing shake.

"Apart from the fact that I'm currently seeing more stars than Captain Kirk, I'm just peachy…"

Steve's relieved grin didn't last long, however, as Jesse cast him a plaintive, meaningful glare.

"Holy Bat-tackles, Steve…! It's the bad guys you're meant to flatten, not me…!"

"Well, if it's any consolation, Jess, I'd guess he feels even worse than you…" Mark chuckled,

nodding to where one very bruised and confused thief, now safely in the hands of hospital security,

now made himself a ruefully heartfelt promise as he was led away.

"Oh man, copped by Batman and Robin…! Jeez, that's it…! From now on, I'm staying in rehab…!"

"My ribs beg to differ…" Jesse shot back, squinting plaintively up into five still rather concerned faces.

"So whose dumb and crazy idea _was_ this…?"

From those five concerned faces came one singly worded, fondly smiled, patiently sighed reply.

"_Yours_…"

Glaring back at them, Jesse now turned his most melting expression towards a helplessly giggling Batgirl.

"Y – You know, I have a concussion… a _really_ nasty concussion…!"

Laughing too much to reply, Susan just rolled her eyes while she and Steve gently helped Jesse to his feet.

"Awww, my poor brave widdle hero…!" she sighed, raising her brow above mischievously glinting eyes.

"Luckily I know the perfect cure for _really_ nasty concussions…"

Guessing by Jesse's suddenly beet red face how enjoyable that cure would be, Mark just shook his head – remaining tactfully silent while turning his attention to his equally amused, just as dishevelled son.

"How about you, Steve…? Any… um… battle wounds that need tending to…?"

Perhaps it was from all that effort of chasing and tackling, but Steve looked a bit puzzled for a moment.

But then he saw Tanis smiling back at him, first aid kit ready and waiting in her hands, and he grinned.

"Well, actually, dad… yeah, I – I did take a kinda hard and heavy landing back there…" he said at last – pointedly ignoring the indignant protest which this inevitably drew from Jesse.

"Whaddya mean, kinda hard and heavy landing…? You landed on _me_, you great lump…!" A pause, then,

"And boy, I tell ya, Steve, you need to cut down on those donuts…!"

"Yes, no wonder your tights don't fit…" Tanis observed dryly, nodding towards the back of Steve's leg. Sure enough, that pair of purple nylons clearly couldn't take the strain of an all out police chase.

From ankle to knee wasn't too bad, but a huge split had run along the seam to the top of his left thigh. 

If not for the cover of his boxer shorts, he would have been a lot more embarrassed than he already was.

And a loud wolf whistle from the still intactly-tighted Jesse _really_ didn't help…

Throwing another murderous glare towards the little tyke who'd landed him in this mess in the first place,

Steve grabbed a towel from a nearby trolley and, to howls of laughter, retreated briskly into the lab.

Five minutes later he reappeared, looking thankfully happier in an equally fetching set of scrubs – 

a single raised eyebrow persuading Jesse to keep any wisecracks on that point wisely to himself.

For all Jesse's peeved complaints, neither of Community General's dynamic duo had actually been hurt. 

But that didn't stop them from enjoying some well deserved, much appreciated tender loving care – 

as Mark and Amanda were greatly amused to find out when they checked in on them a short time later. 

Steve, gallant and selfless to the last, was 'helping' Tanis to brush up on her first aid skills while Jesse, never to be outdone, was telling a helplessly laughing Susan exactly where she needed to 'kiss it better'.

Happily assured that his two brave boys were in excellent hands, Mark just sighed and shook his head – trading another shrewd smile with Amanda before leaving them to be pampered in peace.

These two really were impossible. Still, they ensured that life around his hospital was never dull.

And judging by the laughter he'd left behind, the significant glances he'd seen between Steve and Tanis – well, something told him that life in his ever extending family was about to get more interesting still…


End file.
